Car and train jokes
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Policeman: How can you drive so recklessly?
Driver: I have to, this is a getaway car.
Policeman: How can you say you don't have any outstanding tickets?
Driver: They're all in the glove compartment.
Policeman: I suppose you're going to tell me you weren't speeding.
Motorist: I was speeding all right, but I was testing you to see if you were paying attention.
Policeman: I've had my eye on you for some time now.
Young Lady: That's funny. I thought you were arresting me for speeding.
Policeman: What do you think you're doing driving through that intersection fifty miles an hour?
Driver: My brakes don't work so I was rushing home before I had an accident.
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