Car and train jokes

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Did you ever see a country boy in New York whistle for a cab? He puts two fingers in his mouth and hollers, "Taxi!"

Rating: 3.4 |

The train was about to pull out of the station. Swinging a large bag, a young man managed to reach the train, throw his bag in and climb aboard, gasping for air.

seeking at him, another man said, "Young man, you should be in better shape! At your age, I could catch the train by a gnat's whisker and still be fresh. Look at you, panting away."

The young man took a deep breath and said, "Pop, I missed this train at the *last* station."

Rating: 3.0 |

A man learned shortly before quitting time that he had to attend a meeting.

He tried unsuccessfully to locate his car-pool members to let them know that he would not be leaving with them.

Hastily he scribbled a message to one fellow and left it on his desk: "I have a last-minute meeting. Leave without me. Dave."

At 7:00 p.m., the man stopped at his desk and found this note: "Meet us at the bar and grill across the street. You drove today, you idiot."

Rating: 2.8 |

Jill's car was unreliable and she called John for a ride every time it broke down.

One day John got yet another one of those calls. "What happened this time?" he asked.

"My brakes went out," Jill said. "Can you come to get me?"

"Where are you?" John asked.

"I'm in the drugstore," Jill responded.

"And where's the car?" John asked.

Jill replied, "It's in here with me."

Rating: 2.6 |

When I get real bored, I like to drive down town and get a great parking spot, then sit in my car and count how many people ask me if I'm leaving.

Rating: 3.4 |

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